Secret Lovers are $9.99

Yesterday we were notified that our bill from Verizon was ready to be viewed. Every time I receive these texts from them I cringe waiting to see what "extras" they will be charging us for this month. It seems that they are always finding some way somehow to tack on a few more pennies.

This time, however, it was more than a few more pennies. Our bill jumped up 10 dollars, and Jelani was all over it trying to figure out if one of us had gone over our texts or daytime minutes. He yelled to me from the computer, "Did you upload something to your phone?"

I thought that was a strange question, since he knows that we don't have the internet on our phones and all I do is talk or texts. "No," I answered.

"Well, there is a $9.99 charge on our bill, but they won't tell me what it's for."

"I did sign up for something while filling out a few surveys that promised me a Best Buy gift card, but they told me if I canceled the services I wouldn't be charged, and I canceled it immediately."

                   You see, I become extremely hopeful whenever anything crosses the computer that leaves me with any hope what so ever of getting something for free. And a few weeks ago that exact thing happened while signing into YouTube. A little box popped up, "You have been chosen to complete a quick survey. For your time you can have a Best Buy gift card for $1000 or a free IPad Touch. Do you wish to continue?"  My brain loses all rationale, and just sees FREE FREE $1000!!!!! Continue I will, thank you very much. The survey was so brief that I thought for sure I'd hit the jackpot, but then I went on to another survey, and another....and ANOTHER. I had to give some site my number, and sign up for jobs.com, all the while, at the top of the screen there were screaming letters, "YOU'RE JUST ONE STEP AWAY FROM YOU $1000 GIFT CARD!" By the end (yes, I made it all the way through to the 'end'), the screaming letters were gone, I had no notification that a gift card was being sent to me, I'd given my number out to numerous websites, and I couldn't remember what I'd gone to YouTube for to begin with. My rationale returned as I screamed at the computer.

Now, Jelani looked through my texts to find that to be true. They sent a text confirming my number, and I sent one back immediately saying, "STOP." 

"I don't know," I said. "Sometimes Chastity grabs my phone. Maybe she did something on it?"

I knew she probably didn't, but I was throwing out suggestions to be helpful while I was trying to pack up our things and get ready for our weekend trip to visit my parents.

Jelani thrives on reasons to call Verizon out on their mistakes. He wouldn't admit it, but he thoroughly enjoys leaving a well-meaning customer service agent confused and tongue tied. So before I knew it, he was on hold with Verizon just waiting to dig his condescending claws into them.

"Uh, yes. I was wondering what this charge of $9.99 was for on our bill? It doesn't show on our statement."

"Let me check that for you, sir."

Jelani waited.

"Sir, it looks like a subscription..." he hesitated, "to a service called...ummm...My Secret Lover. Uhhhh...ummm, do you know who's phone that might be billed to?"

Jelani feigned indignation and didn't miss a beat, "Yeah, that's my wife's phone!" he shot back quickly.

"Oh, uh, well, sometimes people just don't see the fine print when they sign up for things on the internet. We can take care of that for you, and block her phone from...uh...such things in the future."

This poor unsuspecting customer service agent must have thought he found himself in an episode of Cheaters, while I, had just mistakenly subscribed to adultery in high hopes of a Best Buy gift card.

So now we know...Secret Lover's are at a new, low, affordable rate of $9.99.