If My Convictions are not the Same as Yours, They Must be Wrong

I have a confession to make. If I were Catholic, I would likely do it privately, and I would be smart enough not to talk to anyone else about it, but I'm not, and I'm not so smart, so here it goes...

I went to see the movie Magic Mike.

You have exactly 15 seconds to judge and condemn me, pray for me, or whatever you feel necessary...starting now. Get it all out of your system. GO.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Good to go now? Alright.

There was so much controversy surrounding this film within the Christian community, that I was actually intrigued more by the neigh sayers than by the movie's marketing.

When the film first began advertising, I was interested, but didn't pay close enough attention to the ads. I actually thought the movie was a PG-13 film (perhaps because I wanted it to be) based on a stripper that was trying to break free from the business, and that the story line was more about his dream of a furniture business and his love interest that wanted nothing to do with his night life. Most of the ads were pretty harmless, featuring men dancing with pants on, and showcasing a lot of the surrounding story line, so maybe you can see how I was confused. I had that mistaken impression for a couple of weeks, and in the meantime, made the drastic mistake of talking about the film to some of my female church friends. I learned quickly that, PG-13 or not, I should have kept my interest in the movie to myself, because I suddenly felt as though I was viewed as some heathen monster who needed the demons prayed out of her.

The Christian community was up in arms about this film, and Christian women, in particular, were casting judgment on any Christian women who might be interested in watching such a movie. I was finding blogs, articles, and comments all over the internet about it, and it was almost all women. Women are famous for this already. I've been (or at least felt) judged for various choices I've made from parenting to financial to fashion to, now, my movie interests. And allow me to break down my interest in this film for you because I guarantee it was not for the reasons many people thought. Is Channing Tatum a handsome man? Absolutely! I can admit that, and my husband, I promise you, understands that. However, in my simple (possibly naive) mind, I saw this as a dance film. I love dancing, and Tatum is very naturally athletic and good at it. I am a fan of his as an artist. I've liked all of his movies I've seen, but what trumped my appreciation for Channing Tatum was pretty simple: for once, I wanted to go see a film with my girlfriends that was not a children's movie or a superhero/action movie. As wife and mother those are typically my only options. I'm usually ok with that, but every now and then I like a girls night out where I can completely avoid those genres.

Still judging? Your 15 seconds ended a while ago, so please just stay with me here.

Once I realized the movie was actually rated R and not PG-13, I became more hesitant, and I thought more deeply about it. I was still interested in seeing it, but I did feel slightly worse about it. I prayed about it (yes, I prayed about wanting to go see Magic Mike), asking God to convict me strongly if it was something I shouldn't go to and praying that my spirit would be open to listening. I still felt no such conviction, and realized that the little bit of guilt I was feeling was not from God, but a product of worrying about how my Christian sisters would view me. But here's the thing; being completely honest, at that point I really could take it or leave it. Seeing the movie was not that big of a deal to me. However, it was the judgment, the accusations, the pointing of fingers, and all that I read, saw, and heard on the topic from Christians that made me more and more curious and inclined to go see the movie. Was that a good reason to go? No, and it wasn't my only reason, but I'm just being honest. Be careful of your finger pointing because even grown adults in their human nature, as I've found, will be more inclined to go against your wishes just because they can.

I believe, and it is biblical, that people are convicted in different ways against different things, for different reasons. That is NOT to say that there is anything good or pure about this film, because I know I'll get Philippians 4:8 thrown in my face, and I'm not arguing that point at all. You will never hear me say that Magic Mike was good for my soul or the best thing to feed my spirit. I believe with all my heart that many people have the right intentions in trying to bring people closer to Christ and farther from sin and the things of this world, and those who have taken a stand against this film were right to do so. Maybe y'all should read that last sentence again, because I think many people have misunderstood my stance on this exactly. You were right to avoid such a film and try to get others to avoid it as well. However, I believe that many people, with great intentions, hurt those they were trying to "save." I read some things online that really hurt my heart. Christians telling other Christians that they were going to Hell because of watching this movie or reading 50 Shades of Grey (we'll get to that later). It got downright ugly and when we become that judgmental and nasty with our own sisters in Christ, others will see that and want no part of it.

Also, in your judgements and accusations, you are assuming that everyone going to see this film is participating in the sin of lust, and, believe it or not, that is just not so. I am here to tell you that it is possible to sit through that entire movie without lusting one bit. First of all, take into consideration that women are wired very differently than men. Women are typically not visually stimulated. We are more of an emotional bunch who need affectionate touching and sweet nothings whispered in our ears. So the comparisons I heard repeatedly about how it's only fair that our husbands should be able to go out to strip clubs, is completely bogus. None of those men from the big screen can reach out and touch us in anyway, we're not being served alcohol during the movie, and none of them can try to take us home (or vice versa).

A midst all this fuss about the movie, I began to do a lot of thinking on what a double standard, and sometimes hypocritical stance this was. This is not to say that movies of this world are good to watch by any means, but people of my age group are of a generation of the "raunch" movie style. It began in the late 90s with the American Pie movies, and has spiraled from there, I believe. Now, I come from a family who took great care in what we were allowed to see growing up. It had to be age appropriate. For example, we were not allowed to watch PG-13 until we were 13, and we couldn't watch R until we were 17. Even then, if they knew enough about the film to say "no way," they did. Did we occasionally find ways around that? Yes, but not often, and so we grew up watching movies at appropriate ages where we were wise enough to discern right from wrong, and know that it's a movie, and this does not mean I should live my life this way. I can honestly tell you that in all areas of my life where I have stumbled as a Christian, it was not the result of a movie going experience, but rather a result of the people I was surrounding myself with. Even music has held more influence in my life than movies, and so I learned a few years ago that I should avoid listening to hip hop/r&b, or rap regularly. That is my conviction though, and maybe not yours, so I would never point fingers or make you feel like less of a Christian for enjoying a little Eminem.

I have digressed slightly, but my point is that my husband and I occasionally enjoy films of this raunch comedy type style for the humor of it. We've enjoyed movies such as Bridesmaids, The Hangover, and Knocked Up. We've appreciated the comedy behind it without allowing the antics of the film's actors to negatively affect our lives. Might God one day convict us against watching those types of movies? He just might, and I'm open to it, just as I was when he convicted me against certain types of music, but right now, my going to see Magic Mike will not cause me to run out and cheat on my husband or start going to strip clubs, or start stripping myself for goodness sake.

While I'm on the topic of other movies, I was wondering, where were all of these convictions when the movie The Hangover came out? That is a movie based entirely upon drunkenness, and I didn't hear such a stink about Christians watching that. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Christians that can legitimately stand up and say they don't watch any of those films or TV programs, and that they stick to Christian programing, maybe some selective Disney, or nothing at all. But what about the greater group of Christians who cannot say that? Do they have any right at all to point fingers and make accusations about women going to see Magic Mike? Watch any prime time television show and you will be watching sin. Take a good hard look at any superhero movie, and you're likely to find adultery, drunkenness, or vulgarity. And you will be hard pressed to find anything, anything, that does not objectify women. Jelani and I were sitting here flipping through channels the other day during nap time and came across an ad for a bra. They repeatedly showed women in their bras which were too small, breasts popping out, midriff showing; all on a sunny Sunday afternoon on basic cable. I couldn't help but laugh. That is ok. No one will make a big stink about that, but a man in a thong is unforgivable.

***Spoiler alert***
Allow me to tell you a little bit about this movie. It was horrible. I'm out 10 bucks and a couple hours sleep, but I'm still the same faithful, loving wife and mother you knew before I went to see it. The surrounding dialog and story line seemed forced and unconvincing. Channing Tatum appeared to be the only one that could actually dance. The highlights of the film were his three individual dance routines that he did mostly clothed before taking anything off, and once he was stripped down to the thong, the scene would end shortly after. In the group dance, the camera angle was set up so that Tatum was the main focus, but if you veered off to look at the others you'd notice what awkward dancers they were. The other dancers, in their individual routines, were merely shown after stripping. At that point there was no real dancing involved, just shaking, which anyone can really do. It was uncomfortable to watch. I actually discovered I was more comfortable with the naked women in scenes, because that's what our society and Hollywood have made us comfortable with. There was no full frontal on any of the men, unless I blinked and missed it. Really, you can take a walk on any popular beach and see men and women with not so much more clothing on, but when you add the context of stripping it's completely unacceptable. There was a lot of vulgarity, which I would assume to be true of that type of setting and life style. I didn't go out much, but I spent enough time in bars and dance clubs in college to hear the lingo. Lastly, what I took from the film is probably very different than what many may have heard. It was sad to watch. Rather than getting caught up in the lusting (which many likely assumed I would), it saddened me, as I imagine such real life scenarios sadden our God. It showed how easily a young kid can be allured by that lifestyle; the women and the money, while also showing how a more seasoned stripper is ready to be done because he sees the evil nature of it, and how far someone can fall. In my opinion, it did not glorify or romanticize the stripping life; quite the opposite. I can't even say that about Pretty Woman, which absolutely romanticizes prostitution. What is more disconcerting about the film than Christian women seeing it, is that young, impressionable women who are not strong in the Word or their relationship with Christ will likely go see the film regardless and they may (or may not) be lured into participating in the sinful nature of the film. I also believe that different people struggle with different temptations and sins. Someone who struggles with adultery and lust should probably avoid this film, but likely won't, because many people don't truly understand their own struggles.

So, I'm not really sure how to transition into the topic of 50 Shades of Grey here, and I didn't read the books, so I don't feel qualified to really write about it (which obviously hasn't stopped others). However, I will say this. No, you cannot compare women reading these books to men having their heads stuck in a Play Boy magazine. If you recall, Play Boy is more about pictures than words. That's one very big difference, but also, one thing I have heard from multiple sources, Christian and non-Christian alike, is that the books have stirred something in them that has completely revitalized their love lives with their husbands. You may not agree with that method, and I'm not asking you to, but those "stirrings" and affections are, in fact, permissible within marriage. As I mentioned before, women are more emotional than visual, so from what I've gathered, those words on that page are more likely to stir her into the arms of her husband than Magic Mike will stir her into a lustful affair.

In summary, if you have any doubts as to how I truly feel about this as a Christian woman, please refer to the text in bold towards the top of the page. Though I was curious, it is not a movie a would ever watch again. Just because I wasn't convicted in the same way as others does not make me some sort of demon possessed monster unsuitable to my husband or for raising children. I think that we all, as a Christian community, need to be more mindful about how we approach such topics.You can call me naive about the way that I viewed the film, and say that I'm kidding myself about how it has or has not affected me, but I know better. I know that I am more negatively affected by music than by movies. In fact, one particular r&b song came on during the movie, that reminded me of my college days and had more of an impact on me in it's 1 minute of play than the whole 1 hour and 50 minute movie. I know this about myself, which is why I stay away from such music on a regular basis. You don't have to believe me, but my husband and my God know my heart better than you do.

I know that many will disagree with me no matter what I say, and people will pick and choose what they want to hear, so before you comment with your argument, think about what exactly you are disagreeing with. Many will obviously disagree with my personal decision to go see the movie, but that cannot be changed, and so the argument is pointless. However, I believe that my points about double standards and hypocrisy within our society and our Christian community are tough to argue. We are all guilty of it in some aspect. I once heard a pastor say that it is nearly impossible to find a non hypocritical Christian, because we all have different convictions and feelings about how our lives should be lived, and we all have a basic desire for others to be convicted in the same ways we are.

Keep in mind that Paul, of the Bible, took very unpopular stances against sin among his peers (as well as many others in the Bible), so I understand speaking out about the things of this world you are strongly convicted against. The biggest difference, though, is that there were far fewer worldly distractions back then, and he could rightfully take that stance because he had cleansed himself of all of it and did not participate in any of it. 

Let us all be mindful of how we make others feel. Share your convictions with love and mercy. It is not enough for people to constantly see what we are against, but it is more important that they see who we are for.

"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!" James 2:12, 13