The Bobble Head Effect

An age old rule with babies is to be careful with their heads. For centuries women have been passing their babies to be held saying, "Watch his head!"

This rule makes sense, but I have to admit, I have become less and less careful with each child. Not negligent or dangerous, mind you, but I have learned that they are much tougher than anyone has ever given them credit for.

With my first, I tread lightly. I treated his head as if the self destruct button was right there in plain sight. For the first weeks of his life, I was very gentle dressing him. Anything that needed to be pulled over his head was done so delicately, and it terrified me to pick him up from under his arms, as though his head might just flop right off if I didn't get a hand or arm behind it immediately.

Now that I have had my third baby, I've come to realize that the reason people so carefully say, "Watch the head!" is not because their heads are so delicate, but rather because they can be used as a serious weapon of destruction. The issue is not in the head so much as it is the neck. The neck is weak and wobbly, creating a bobble head effect in which the head is like a bowling ball. This becomes dangerous mainly while they are upright and burping, because with each pat on the back the head wobbles every which way until finally connecting with some part of your face. If you are lucky they get a fleshy part, such as your cheek, but often times I have been left with a bruised jaw, throbbing ear, or (the worst), tear inducing hit to the nose. I once had a sore nose for a year after Elijah (one year at the time) jumped into me just as I was crouching down. I'm pretty sure he gave me a minor fracture, and while I was left with those embarrassing uncontrollable tears, he ran off, unaware of any damage. Like I said, much tougher than we give them credit for.

As a general rule, the worse the gas, the worse the wobble. I've always thought that the burp clothes were a joke. My babies couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with their spit up. I've always had to use receiving blankets as burp clothes, and I could be wearing a turtle neck, and they'd somehow still find my skin.

The other night, I was certain Isaac had made my chest his target. He was wobbling harder than ever, squirming all over my chest. I couldn't seem to get him to burp, but he was determined to get something out. He was fussing, climbing up my chest with his knees, and blatantly pulling the blanket away from my chest, seemingly aiming straight for the cleavage. Just as I thought he had calmed down, his head slammed into my jaw causing me to turn away from the sting, and in that same moment the burp was out...as well as the spit up. Target acquired, little fella. Target acquired.

He instantly went to sleep, while I was sopping up the mess with the completely dry blanket he had so conveniently missed.

So...all you mommies out there...watch the heads. They are dangerous and sometimes explosive weapons.